My Baby Just Cares For Me
by AkatsukixXxProdigy
Summary: Harley's been planning a special night for her and her Puddin, But Joker really isn't in the mood. Maybe Ol' Blue Eyes will change that. A fluffy oneshot about our favorite crime duo. T for language and slight reference to sexual themes.


A/N: Hey look at that another Harley/Joker story! I've had this story mulling in my head for a few months now and I finally just had to get it out. It didn't go exactly like I had planned but once I start writing the story takes over and does what it wants. Anyway, here's my little fluffy bit about my favorite crazy couple. I just love the forties/fifties style Joker and I was listening to Sinatra one night and thought about him. I feel like Joker is classy and would love the likes of Mr. Frank Sinatra. Anyways, enjoy!

Warnings: Mild language and mild suggestion of sexual relations, but very mild...ya have to squint to see it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Batman…if I did Joker and Harley would cause a lot more havoc. Also I make a reference to Brian Azzarello's "Joker", so I don't own that either. Also don't own the song.

Harley hummed herself a little tune as she bustled about the kitchen. She set the table with two fancy plates that she had nabbed from some high end store, a vase with two roses, and a candle. She glanced at the clock, and seeing the time ran upstairs to change out of her sweats and tank top. She traded them in for a sexy purple teddy with green lace. She put her hair into her normal pig tails, and re-applied her makeup. She examined herself in the mirror, looking for any imperfections in her features. Tonight had to be perfect, absolutely nothing could go wrong. After all she had been planning this night for months. And she wanted so badly to please her Puddin. So tonight had to go smoothly. She slipped on her red and black silk robe, since she knew Joker didn't like her going around the warehouse dressed as a floozy. Though she knew none of the boys would ever try anything, at least the ones who hung around the most. They were loyal to the Joker and therefore they respected him and his property.

Nonetheless, Harley tightened the sash on her robe as she made her way to the back room where the boys usually played poker. To her surprise she only saw Lenny. He was a middle aged man who, as far as she knew, had been with the Joker the longest. He was a real sweetheart to her, and always reminded her of her father.

"Hey Harley, big plans tonight?" He asked genuinely, unlike the leer most of the men gave her when she was planning a "special" night with her Puddin.

"You know it Len! I was just about ta' ask ya if ya want to take the night off." Harley smiled, hinting that she wanted him to beat it so she could have the hideout to herself with Mistah J.

"As a matter a fact I was just about to leave. The old lady's expecting me down at Rosco's for a romantic dinner or something." He said as he picked up his coat and turned the lights out in the room. Harley followed him to the front room as he made his way to leave.

"Aww how sweet Lenny. You're a real gentleman ya know?"

Lenny chuckled, "Yea that's what the wife says too. I don't exactly agree with her."

"How long you an' Sherry been together?" Harley asked.

"Oh I don't know, going on twenty-seven years I guess."

"Well you've obviously been doin' something right Lenny."

"Yea I guess you're right Harley."

"Where did the other guys run off too?"

"Oh they went down to The Grin and Bare It, they're havin' a special or something I guess."

"Oh, ok. Well goodnight Lenny. I gotta finish getting ready for Mistah J."

"Have a good one Harl." Lenny nodded his head and left.

Harley glanced at the clock again and squealed. Her Puddin would be home any minute, and she still had to finish dinner! She ran to the oven and pulled out the pot roast she had been cooking all afternoon. She plated the food and poured two glasses of wine. She dimmed the lights in the main room and sat at the dinner table waiting for Mistah J to get home.

* * *

Joker walked home sluggishly. He was pissed off that the Bat hadn't shown up at his recent job, and even more pissed that Penguin had. That damn bird had the gall to try and attack him while he was in the middle of his most genius plan! He had been working on it for months, and for once was able to convince Harley not to tag along with him. He had wanted it to be perfect, and he didn't need the little blonde nuisance screwing anything up. Everything was going swimmingly. He had taken over the Gotham Mint, and was in the process of producing every ten dollar bill to have a smiling Lincoln on it, along with traces of slow absorbing Joker toxin. He had left plenty of clues for Batman to show up, but apparently Penguin had gotten his clues instead, something long and complicated about intercepting signals blah blah blah. All Joker Knew was that Penguin came strolling in with his band of merry fucking ducks and had decided he wanted to put his smug, pointy nosed face on the _twenty_ dollar bill. Well that was the biggest insult of them all. The fact that Bats hadn't shown up was one thing, but that penguin thought he was _better_ than the Clown Prince of Crime, was inconceivable! Of course Joker kicked the feathers out of Cobblepot, but he was peeved that he even had to deal with him! His good for nothing goons didn't help worth a lick, although that was kinda his fault for giving his reliable henches the day off.

The clown sighed, and ruffled his green locks. He was tired and ready to go home, shower, and sleep. He really hoped Harley didn't try to annoy him tonight. She had a knack for picking his worst nights to try and gain attention. Finally, he made it to the front door of the warehouse. When he opened the door he was about to yell for Harley to get him something to eat, instead he stopped short when he saw Harley standing in the middle of the room, wearing a black and red robe. The lights were dim and he could see she had that glint in her eye. The one that screamed for attention when he least wanted to give it.

"Harley whatever this is I'm not in the mood."

"But Puddin, I made dinner and everything." She said with a slight pout.

"That's nice Pooh; send it up to the room Daddy's tired." Joker made to walk past her, but he was surprised when she held out her arm to stop him. He was about to slap her but he stopped short when he saw the look she gave him. She wasn't mad, but she certainly wasn't happy.

"Will you just give me two seconds of your damn time? It's Valentine's Day and I've been planning this evening for two months. I even skipped the job tonight so that I could plan this special night for us. I know you're tired and I know you think I'm being annoying but dammnit Mistah J I'm trying to show you something special. And if after dinner you aren't happy you can go sulk in your study or plan the Bats death for however long you want. But just know I won't be here for a few days afterwards." Harley's tone was calm, almost pleading. Joker had never seen anything but extreme happiness or extreme sadness in Harley's blue ocean eyes. Now there was something different.

Joker sighed, annoyed that he was going to give in to her request, "Alright Harl, whataya got"

Harley smiled brightly, but didn't jump for joy like usual, "Let's eat dinner first Puddin."

They sat at the table and ate, Harley occasionally asking him questions about his day, which led to Joker relaying his trouble with Penguin. Harley listened intently, not once interrupting.

"Ya know Harl, this dinner was fabulous, but I am really exhausted. Let's just call this a night eh Kiddo?"

Harley then stood up with a smirk on her face. She untied her robe to reveal the purple and green lingerie she was wearing, "One second Mistah J. I got one more thing to show you."

"And uhh….what would um…that be Sweets?" Joker said, his eyes glued to the sexy number Harley was wearing. He normally liked seeing her in her usual red and black getup, but he couldn't deny that she looked damn good in his colors.

"I wanna dance with ya Puddin." Harley said as she made her way to the record player.

Joker was taken out of his drooling glance, "Uhh, Harl I'm not that much of a dancer. And besides I told you I'm tired and I just want to go get undressed and go to be-"

A flare of trumpets sounded out of the speakers as the music began, stopping Joker's words.

_Did you hear that Baby don't care for shows? _

_Baby don't care for clothes _

_Baby just cares for me _

In a flash, Joker was up with his arms around Harley. He took her hand and began dancing gracefully along the floor. Harley's smile reached up to her bright blue eyes. Joker gave her a waggle of his eyebrows as he twirled her about and began to sing along to the song.

"_My baby don't care for furs and laces. Baby don't care for all those high toned places  
Baby don't care for rings or other expensive things. She's as sensible as can be. Baby don't care who knows it. Baby just cares for me._" Joker's husky voice lulled through Harley's ears as she beamed up at him, his hand on the small of her back, leading her along their dance.

"_My baby don't care to own, nine or ten carat stones. Baby just cares for me_." Joker picked up the blonde girl and twirled her around. She giggled loudly as he brought her back down into his arms.  
"_Baby, don't go for big Rolls Royces. There's sometimes a doubt about her choices.  
My baby is not much for sports. Like runnin' 'round without shorts. I must say I'm glad that, that she, she makes such a fine, a fine selection. My baby just cares for me_." As Joker belted out the last words, he dipped Harley low to the ground. He kissed her passionately as the song ended. He picked her back up as the next swell of instruments filled the room.

"Harley Girl, how did you know I liked Sinatra?" He grinned wildly at her.

"A little birdie told me Puddin." She giggled. His smile grew, and she had never felt so in love with him than she was in that moment. His smile was beautiful, his eyes were twinkling with their ever present mischief, and he was holding her so close, just like she liked it.

Joker stared hard at his girl. He hated to admit but the dame really out did herself tonight. He supposed she deserved the extra attention. After all it was a special occasion, "Happy Valentine's Day, Harley."

Harley smiled wide, "Happy Valentine's Day Puddin."

"Ya know Harl, Daddy's had a loooong day," His eyebrows waggled again and he winked at her, "I think I need to play around with my Harley, maybe rev her up some to settle my nerves. Ya mind being a good girl and make Daddy feel better?"

"Of course I will Daddy." Joker needed no further explanation, and hoisted up Harley into his arms bridal style.

"Well then let's go play, Pumpkin Pie!" He ran full speed to their bedroom, Harley laughing and shrieking the whole way.


End file.
